Getting Picked Last

Some people just get picked last. It’s their destiny. How do I know? I’m one of them. People who aren’t left as the dregs don’t understand. They think that it’s overblown. Well…let me give you a swear-to-god true story:

I was taking a senior-level class in sports psychology in college. The professor asked the class of 31 how many thought they were always picked last. About 6 of us raised our hands. She said that she’d prove that it wasn’t destiny.

Every person in the class drew a number from a sack. We waited expectantly as the professor drew a selection of numbers from another sack. As the numbers got matched, things started getting dire. While one of the last-called got picked early, five still lingered. It went this way until only two people were left: two of the last-picked. One was a back-up offensive lineman for the football team (a team that boasted Boomer Esiason as its quarterback), the other was me.

We looked at each other and exchanged knowing smiles. Yup, one of us would be picked last again. And that lowest of the low? Me. Even in a double random draw, removing politics and popularity, I still ended up the last one picked.

Needless to say, I don’t gamble—especially in random draws. Even so, I do feel a little satisfaction in thwarting the professor’s attempt to subvert the natural order of the universe.