The Present Giving Conundrum

As I start writing this, there are about 105 minutes before Mary’s* birthday. She always poses me with a vexing problem every March 4: what to do with recognizing the fact. It’s not so simple as many might suppose.

Mary has long admonished be about my present-giving. She protests that the quality of gift I give is too much regardless of how little it actually cost. I won’t say that we’ve argued about it, me being the fleer of relationy confrontation, but it is a bone of contention that has come up from time to time (just about annually, in fact) for several years. Seriously, it’s gotten to the point where I’m reticent about giving her anything at all.

How bad could it be? Two years ago, she got a PEZ dispenser. Last year, a coffee mug from Pomona College (a symbolic gift). This year… honestly, I really have no where else to go. I guess I could start taking things our of her apartment, just to level the perceived scales, but somehow that seems ill-advised. So, despite my innate desire, I suppose this year she will find something that falls between the other two options. Yup: nada.

I’ve talked to other people about this, and they all agree that not wanting any gift, no matter how small, is certainly not a problem they’ve ever had to endure. So, I guess it’ll be an email. Of course I get comments about the length of my emails — which given the length of my blogs y’all can probably appreciate — but I can’t just do nothing. Nothing is what you do with people you have no interest in.

I’m not asking y’all for advice. I’m pretty much just creebing about the situation.

Then there’s Tess. She turns 21 in a few days. I thought long and hard about what to get her. In order to ensure domestic tranquility, though I’m more or less given a pass to hand gifts to the girls, I’m careful not to make them too extravagant. After a couple of months, I finally got something that, though small, does say what I want to say while also avoiding having my ears boxed….for that, at least.

Wow. Tess is going to be fully legal. sniff They grow up so fast.

Like most of us with acquired familial relationships that extend beyond ourselves, I’ve had to learn the rules as I go. There is no guide book for these things, and I think it’s important that while it’s necessary to seriously consider the feelings of others in these matters, one cannot ignore one’s own feelings. I’m part of the equation as well, and as such I must allow my voice to be equal lest dry rot set in. It’s an intricate yet improvised dance. Considering that the females opposite me now number eight (just in this clan), it can get tricky to not step on too many toes.

I guess I should count my blessings. I know several men in shrewish relationships that force them to bleed torrents of jewelry at every special occasion. Don’t get me wrong…I’ve given rocks as presents before, but I don’t make a habit of it.

So…I guess I’d best set to getting that email written. Wish me luck.