Ahhhh. I’m enjoying my day off.
Well, it’s mostly a day off. I did switch my parent’s long distance carrier, and I made my father’s dementia-alert bracelet fit his wrist better, but so far it’s been the first quiet day I can remember in a long time. I thrive on days like this. These are the sorts of days that rejuvenate the soul. In fact, I think when people put several of these days together they are called a vacation or a holiday, but that’s pretty much just a story I hear, and not really part of my life.
I needed this day. It’s not that I don’t love my families, but tending to the home and tending to work and not getting a ton of help doesn’t exactly make for a stress-free life. My only respites come when I get to spend time with Mary* and the rest of the family. ‘course, it’s not like that never has any stress-related issues, either (as I’ve mentioned on occasion).
I think one of the most innocuous stressors is labeling. Sure, they are all my dear friends, but they are much more than that. But they are also not. Oh, it’s so confusing. It’s like when I refer to Jamie, Tess, and Scarlet, and assorted daughters thereof, in a grouping context; I usually refer to them as the girls, although I do slip and sometimes say my girls. Whenever I do slip like that, I feel like I’ll be smitten by lightning for something because no matter how much affection I have for them, they aren’t my girls. I haven’t gone through life’s battles with them. I’ve had trivial effect in molding the women they’ve become. I simply haven’t earned the right, nor am I sufficiently well-placed in the family’s organizational chart.
And don’t even get me started on how to talk about Mary. Relationship tags just haven’t quite caught up to third millennium relationship convolutions. I’m almost scared to even hazard a try. Again, friendship labels seem to come up short, while relationship adjectives tend to connotate to others more than may be reality.
Despite all of this personal confusion, they are my family and I am theirs. That’s not in doubt. Who adopted whom has been debated, but the end result is that our lives are linked, for good or ill, from now on.
And can you imagine a better way of spending your day off than thinking about the people you love?