The Dreaded Holiday Question

I got hit last night with that most dreaded of holiday questions. The one that sparks fear and terror in even the stoutest of souls. The question that causes tongues to tie and brains to seize. A query so insidious in meaning and yet so innocent in tone. And worse…it was asked even before Thanksgiving. Could any plot conceived from the minds of humankind be so evil and cruel? “What do you want for Christmas?”

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

I’d have gone running to the hills had it not been for the fact that it’s a little cool outside, and that there’s also the small little detail that I don’t run. So, there I sat, eyes deer-at-his-surprise-party big. What to say? I have to say something. I know! The perfect retort…one guaranteed to match in indecision what the initial salvo had in audacity. “I dunno.”

After the stunning success of my brilliant counter-attack, I bid a hasty retreat in order to find safety in quiet contemplation. (Is it at all apparent that the pressure of taking notes on for my novel rewrite has lifted?) I engaged in a rapt meditation, to better prepare myself for the inevitable follow-up offensives: list requests and deadlines. Oh, the humanity!

Still, as I thought long and hard (which is just a phrase, really…I didn’t dwell too long on this), the fact of the matter is that–except for one or two rather extravagant things that aren’t in my near future, if ever–I think I’m pretty much caught up. I don’t have any significant material wants or needs; and the emotional side is better situated than I have a right to expect. The census of my family has grown by seven (more if you count animals), and everyone, old-guard and new, seems to tolerate me passably well. I’m sheltered, safe, more healthy than not, and fed. All of my gadgets are still working (knock on wood), and I have more diversions than I could reasonably be expected to devote my full attention to.

So, on the whole, I guess I’ll have to amend my answer to: “I’m good, thanks.” Being that way, I suppose my list to Santa is going to blank this year. The remarkable thing about that is how much it pleases me. As we enter the last month of this year, I’m not really wanting for anything I don’t already have. I feel sort of like George Bailey…”the richest man in town.”