Lobbyists Lobby For Lobbying

Long time readers of this blog know that I place a heap of blame on lobbyists for the ills of this country. So, excuse me for not shedding any tears when lobbyists complain that President Obama is severely limiting their access.

The concept of a lobbyist is noble enough. It allows a group of people (say one-legged farmers who hate gophers) who otherwise wouldn’t have access to get their voices heard in the halls of government. After all, the OLFWHG are busy dealing with their vermin problem and don’t have the time, expertise, or money to individually go to Washington, D.C. to petition their elected officials face-to-face, even if they could get into the office. So, they hire some slick pretty-boy who’s the cousin of Gaylord’s father’s half-step-godchild from a law office in DC to speak to their Congressman on their behalf.

As it turns out, Pretty-boy doesn’t exactly have the clout to just pounce on the congressman, but he can roam around the Capitol for a bit during lunch breaks. One day, he sees the Big-damn-congressman in the lobby, comes up to him, and says that the OLFWHG have hired him to talk about the gopher problem…maybe they could talk about it over lunch sometime. The BDC, never one to turn down a free lunch, agrees.

So, Pretty-boy sits down to lunch with the BDC three weeks later. Pretty-boy says, “The OLFWHG need help.” The BDC says he understands. He loves the one-legged farmers in his state. The trouble is…it takes time to get a bill through Congress, and he’s going to have to fund his re-election campaign…not that he’s asking for any quid pro quo.

Pretty-boy says that it’s an amazing coincidence. Upon hearing about their lunch, the OLFWHG had already authorized him to make a contribution to the BDC’s re-election fund, and send him a farmer’s daughter (purely to clarify any issues that might arise). And just like that, the BDC introduces a funding bill to help the OLFWHG in his state which quickly dies in committee.

Yes, that’s a very cynical way of looking at the process. Sadly, it is exactly that process, magnified more than a thousand-fold, that has evolved to enact policies in our government. Legislation is almost never passed because projects are worthy in and of themselves. The people almost never get to press their issues themselves. The ears of the Congress are almost exclusively reserved to the money-dripping mouths of hired guns.

President Obama knows that this is how our government works and how that it works contrary to the higher principles of government of, by, and for the people. Because the OLFWHG can’t hire but one minor lawyer, their voice is downed out by the deep pockets who are able to send teams of specialized vipers to press their own causes. It also allows an industry cartel to muster their collective forces to put the screws on politicians trying to raise money for the next election cycle.

The insurance industry, the banking industry, the health management organisations, airlines, the media, and more have long had their deep-pocket tendrils down the pants of Congress, massaging their backers like hookers needing a fix. A major reason why Congress is consistently so ill thought of is not because they screw up sometimes, but because they screw up in the interest of corrupting lobbyists.

Again, the concept of the lobbyist isn’t a bad one. It was never intended to become a high-paying profession (just as politics was never intended to become a high-paying profession). The thing is that it has gone way out of control. The way the system is currently run, the actual people have little voice. They are little more than votes.

Some will suggest that there are so many issues before Congress, the only efficient way to present information is to use these outside legislative experts to press a case efficiently. Again, we return to the fact that the most effective lobbyists are the ones who are the best funded and, by amazing coincidence, major contributors to campaigns. This does not lead to a fair and representative government. It leads to what we have now: a plutocratic oligarchy.

While it has been somewhat satisfying to watch this cabalistic house of cards tumble down, the sad truth is that it will once again be rebuilt…on the multi-trillion-dollar deficit paid for by the hundreds of millions not directly represented by lobbyists.

The only real solution is the one that has been employed by the President: limit access. Lobbyist J. Keith Kennedy complains, “What disqualifies lobbyists from exercising their First Amendment rights?”

It’s a fair question. The thing is, the rights apply to people, not to professions. The Supreme Court has repeatedly ruled on this issues of freedom of speech in the workplace, and it usually sides with the employer. The net result is that, as lobbyists are basically acting as workers within a larger system, and not as individuals representing themselves, they can have restrictions placed on them.

The administration was careful to allow lobbying via written communication. That means that no basic rights are being curtailed. The first amendment doesn’t require face-to-face communication, only that petitions can be made to redress grievances. In this context, writing works.

Unfortunately for the good-ol’-boy network, writing is a nightmare. It leaves a legal trail of breadcrumbs. Handshake and wink-wink deals can’t be made. Lobbyists hate the writing bit because it leaves much less room to squirm out of the thinking-outside-the-box promises they make (i.e. lies).

Unless you are a lobbyist, I think most people would prefer that the era of the well-moneyed closed-door backroom deals be ended. This is the sort of stuff that collapses economies because the greedy in business are often clever, and the greedy in government are often idiots.

As I said, lobbyists aren’t by definition evil. They do have an actual useful function. Or, at least, they did. Washington has long paid lip-service to the idea of lobby reform. President Obama is actually moving past the talk by actually doing something about it. Amazingly he did it without violating anyone’s rights…though the lobbyists (and those funded by them) will likely disagree. Needless to say, this group of wounded over-priced lawyers will resort to what they do so as to prevent this sort of correction from ever happening again: they’ll lobby Congress.

Maybe we, the people, should hire some high-priced lobbyists to lobby Congress to limit the lobbying lauded by the current lobbyists. Absurd? Yes. Welcome to American politics.