Valerie Bertinelli in Her Striking Bertinellikini

This week’s People magazine has a cover that many of us in our late 40s never thought we’d see again: Valerie B in a flattering green Bertinellikini. I mean, holy-wow-Batman.

There are times when you just have to come clean — I’ve been crushing on Miss V since she played Barbara Cooper on One Day at a Time. During those nine seasons, we saw Valerie go from a cute girl-next-door teen to a very attractive woman. Through a series of made-for-TV movies and a seemingly out-of-the-blue marriage that had me and many of my male peers shaking our noggins while making the wagga-wagga sound, Ms Bertinelli always remained one of those touchstones of attraction.

For many, that touchstone was tested in recent years as the erstwhile Barbara Cooper explored higher numbers of clothing sizes. For some of us, Valerie was still Valerie. Whether as a newly formed angel on Touched By an Angel, or as a loyal sister in Finding John Christmas, the package mattered much less than the fact that Valerie was still on the screen.

Still…wow. What a change. While many opine that Valerie looks better than she did when One Day at a Time ended its run, I’m a little more realistic. Don’t get me wrong, Miss B looks marvelous. People say I look young for my age, but this woman who is a year my senior, makes me look like an old man in comparison. So…she does look very good. Even so, she doesn’t look like she’s twenty-five (despite the fact that a lot of 25-year-olds don’t look that good). She’s got her wrinkles. There are patches of body that weren’t quite as patchy a couple of decades before. But to these eyes, and those of my peers who are newly rediscovering this talented woman, the addition of a bit of mileage actually adds to her allure rather than diminishes it.

As even Miss Bertinelli admits, she’s just one jalapeño popper away from being 20-kilograms heavier again. I totally understand her meaning. I’ve been fighting the cursed calories for most of my life. I stay reasonably trim (most of the time) just by being constantly aware. That Valerie has managed to keep her weight off for a while is a great credit to her will and desire. It’s not always easy to maintain, so I wish her the very best as she accepts and continues with the struggle. As our forefathers noted, the price of the Bertinnellikini is eternal vigilance (or, they would have said it had they seen the People cover).

Right now, the world seems to be Valerie Bertinelli’s metaphorical oyster with her as the pearl of great value. Some of us have known that for over thirty years. However great she looks today, the fact is that her ability to attract and keep our attention has more to do with what she brings to her craft than whether or not she looks great in a two-piece. Still, I’m not going to lie. It’s great to see Valerie looking this good again. For the first time in a few years, she seems comfortable in her own skin. Regardless of what any of the rest of us think, she is the only person whose opinion of this matters.

In an age where so many people give up trying to… well, they just give up trying, it’s great to see Valerie’s success. Not because she’s reestablished the gorg, but because she was unwilling to surrender. As I said before, it’s a constant battle. I’d gotten to a point twenty years ago where I was rounder than I was happy with and spent the next two years losing about 23-kilograms (50 pounds). For the most part, I’ve been able to keep it off, but it’s never easy.

Valerie’s success comes from being the her that she wants to be. Not because some producer is bullying her, or its the current fad, but because it mattered to her. I don’t know her, so I can’t numerate her reasons, but I will say that it seems that she is happier with herself for whatever combination of reasons. And it’s great for the rest of us because…well, just look at her! Day-um.

Kudos to VB. As she’s reimagined herself into a new-found popularity, I hope that she’ll be even more enthusiastic in giving us more memorable roles. What can I say, we are a greedy lot, and more Valerie B films and TV can’t be anything but a good thing.

And one last time: WOW.