Battling Ennui

Sorry about being so long between entires. A confluence of events sort of hit which resulted in me getting blindsided with a bout of ennui (look it up).

About a day or so before I finished the turtle painting, I started feeling it. The listlessness. The lack of interest. But then it bloomed into a total desire to do nothing. Unfortunately, that’s not really an option. I had trees to prune, wood to cut, financial stuff, lawn stuff…you know, the usual. I’ve been letting the weather have its due. Unless the day is all nice, I’ve been retreating to the computer. Obviously I haven’t been writing blogs (as such). I recently signed up with one of those sites that has one writing original content. So, when I have time to write, and it’s not an email, that’s where I’ve been writing as of late.

There’s little doubt that a major trigger has been Tess* moving to New Jersey. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t missing my middle DLT. But on the other hand I know that it is probably the best thing she could probably do for her sake. I think that young people in this country, especially ones in their early 20s, should be asked to test their mettle by going on a new adventure. Many do it via the college track, but others choose to go in a less protected direction. It’s good. It forms the adult–although you don’t know it’s happening at the time. Doesn’t mean that I don’t miss her, but love is way more expansive. Frankly, when she’s happy, I get happy.

But that’s not the only change. Fast on the heels of Tess boarding the plane, I find that the other Scotts are also going to be scattering. Tess I was expecting, but that news sort of blindsided me. While the others are going to still be within driving distance, it isn’t going to be that two-block drive that it has been. I know it’s hard on Scarlet who is busy trying to find an apartment. Frankly I don’t know what to do for her to make it easier without also allowing her to grow. I’m there for her, of course. I can only hope that’s enough and that she’ll talk to me when she needs to (or better–just slightly before she NEEDS to). And Mary has already found a place about 30+ minutes away. Clearly dropping by on a whim isn’t going to be as much in the cards.

So…getting hit with that, plus trying to manage this place before summer hits hard (I need to get the trim on the front of the house painted before the temps start getting outside of the paint’s specs). So much to do. Plus I have art to make. I still have that novel to finish polishing — said polish has been stalled, I think, mostly because I don’t have anything in mind to write next. I hate ending something without knowing what the next thing is. But it needs to get done.

And with all of this, I’m stuck also having to crawl out of a pit of ennui. I’m getting there. Seeing Tess’ horse always helps, and I get to see him once or twice a week. When she finally sends for him, I’m going to be at a bit of a loss. I’ve really gotten used to being around horses. I’m going to have to find a reasonable way to insinuate myself with some other horse people, I think. And I need to find a gallery before too long. Slowly but surely, the art is starting to accumulate. A few more pieces and I’ll get to go gallery shopping again. Hopefully by that time my ennui will have turned into offui. :-)