One Month

Well, it’s been a month since my dad died. Since there are people I still haven’t filled in yet, and many who have wanted updates, I figured I’d take the easy way out and just point everyone here, so I only have to do this once.

To start off with, we’re all doing fine. Yeah, there are still some symptoms of depression: both lingering from the illness, and new what with having to get back to normal. We aren’t worried about that at all. It’s a normal part of the process, and what we are all experiencing to varying degrees (depends on the day) is pretty mild. Mostly it’s just being inappropriately sleepy/tired. It’s not debilitating or anything, mostly it’s just annoying. Given the emotional and physical stress we were under for the last several months of my dad’s life, it’s little wonder that we need time to recover from that.

As I tell people, this experience was the second hardest I’ve ever had to go through. In all honestly, my first stint working at QQ, when I was bouncing around three different locations, getting two papers out, setting up the new office computers, and coming up with procedures to usher in the moving of the paper from the paste-up age to the digital age (plus the added stress of it being my first stint as a manager)…without a day off for a bit over three months; that was harder. But it was good in that it made the second half of this year easier for me to endure.

Right now is probably the first chance I’ve really had to not be focused. After my dad died there was, of course. the funeral stuff to get through, and then there was Thanksgiving. Add to that the necessity of having to make contact with those entities that I needed to get in contact with right away, and I think it’s fair to say that I’ve had stuff to do. In the past few days, that’s slacked off, and I’ve given myself permission to just be a schlub for a while. I’ve worked hard for a couple of years; I think I can take a little time off.

One thing we aren’t really worrying about is Christmas. Back in September, when we thought my dad would last into 2008, we decided to make it an easy Christmas for ourselves. That thought is continuing with the addition of not forcing that edict. I mean, we’ve already made Christmas cookies, just because we wanted to (and because I know Scarlet* really likes them). With my brother heading off to the great white north on Christmas day to start his vacation, I think it’s still a good plan. The house is going to be quiet.

We all appreciate the fact that people feel sympathy for us, but we are getting through it pretty well. The trick is that the nature of my dad’s illness was such that we have all taken time during the past year or so to mourn him. The person who was my dad had effectively died a while ago…it just took a while for his body to catch up.

Oh, and for the curious: we’ve already donated all of his usable clothing to charity, while trashing the rest. Being the practical sort, we figured that keeping them here wouldn’t help with the moving on (especially for my mom). Plus…closet space: good. :-)

Even without my dad being sick, I have to say that 2007 would have gone down in the family annals as a difficult year. It started with the electrical box fire during last Christmas’ snow, and continued on…every month posing atypical challenges. Our hope is that 2008 will be much better. We are approaching the coming year with lighter hearts than we carried in 2007, and plan to appreciate some of the joys that life brings.