Talking Head – Tips For Confident Public Speaking

Oral reports in school were so much fun. The anxiety, sweats, shaking, fear, and stomach knots were constant companions. Now…I can stand in front of groups of people large and small with there being essentially no difference than if I was talking to you across a diner table. I didn’t take lessons. I didn’t study up. Mostly I just observed and worked out for myself a path from fear to confidence. It didn’t really take long, and there were a few stumbles before I worked out the kinks. If you have trouble with public speaking, maybe something from my journey will help you.

I was terrified of oral reports. Standing in front of my classmates having to sound like I wasn’t an idiot. Even harder, trying to not seem like I was a frightened as I was. It was awful. Then in Junior High I started figuring out a way to not have to feel all of that so much. My Social Studies teacher for two years was very big on the oral reports. When I first started in her class, each time we had reports to give, I’d sit in terror saying the standard student’s mantra, “Please don’t call on me. Please don’t call on me.”

Then I noticed something. As I looked around the class (yeah, like I’d actually listen to the reports), I noticed that the people who went up first were relaxed. Their ordeal was over. Also…their grades tended to be a bit higher than better speeches toward the end of the cycle because there wasn’t  a class-sized amount of material to compare it to. With those two bits of observational data, I embarked on a little experiment. I volunteered to be among the first to speak.

The actual report-giving wasn’t any easier, but I did find my grade being a little higher than usual, and I was able to get through the rest of the class’s reports without being held in the grip of fear. After a couple of reports using this system, I wasn’t as anxious. It was the waiting that made it worse.

Then something unexpected happened. After one of the students gave a very lengthy report—with charts, maps, and other visual aids—I saw what the true standard was. More importantly, the teacher, not wanting to devote so much class time to this report, now instituted a time limit. If you could stay on topic and last out the time…”A”. This was too good to pass up. All I needed was to develop enough material to eat up the maximum amount of time. AND IT WORKED! By getting to “beat the system”, speaking was starting to be a game. It wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as much work as it had been even though I was now putting forth more effort for the material.

My true epiphany came during one report as I again looked around at my fellow classmates. Almost no one was paying attention. The ones who had already gone were just bored, and the ones yet to talk were focused only on their material as well as the “Please don’t call on me” mantra. With so few people actually listening, I realized, the degree of perfection the speaker had to achieve wasn’t all that high. That immediately took most of the pressure off from speaking in front of the class. Only I cared how I did…no one else. How freeing that revelation was.

Of course, I had to test it out. I started giving reports that were increasingly extemporaneous. Nothing was made up, but more and more I wasn’t actually writing a report to be read. I was now more giving short speeches based on notes on some cards. I was not always successful. I tried a totally extemporaneous report in a college English class…it wasn’t pretty, but I got the grades because I wasn’t reading a prepared text, and because by going first I wasn’t being compared to better presenters.

Over time I’ve found myself speaking in front of groups having only a handful of people as well as auditoriums full of eager listeners (well, I like to imagine they were eager). While there might be the occasional butterfly in the stomach, it barely registers. From a combination of repetition and the realization that no bad ever really happens when giving a speech, I’ve come to almost enjoy them.

In the end, what do I think are the keys to overcoming speech-fear?

• Embrace the idea that at any given moment, hardly anyone is paying attention to you.
• Nothing bad is going to happen. Even if you are nervous to start, it goes away after you get going.
• Talk to people in the audience. Don’t fixate on just one person, which can distract you, but catch the eye of several throughout the speech.
• If using a printed text, make sure to use a large font and make it double-spaced. You don’t want to have to go searching for your place.
• Know your speech well enough that you only have to glance at your text…but don’t over rehearse.
• If you are using notes, practice enough that you are consistent in what you say.
• Talk at your own pace, or maybe just a touch slower. You don’t want to race through the text, but you also don’t want to sound like you’re trying too hard to speak slowly.
• Make sure you have some water at hand, and use it when you feel you need it. The audience will wait.
• If you have a relevant funny story, go ahead an use it, but don’t tell jokes.
• Unless you are making a national policy statement, just say what needs to be said. Following Gettysburg, Lincoln is revered for his two-minute speech while the man who spoke for over two hours is barely remembered.
• If you “go up” on your talk, forgetting what you wanted to say, it’s OK to tell the audience that. Everyone will understand.
• Trust your material. If you believe it, the audience will believe it.
• Don’t try to play to the crowd unless you’re good at it or comfortable enough to take the risk.
• Don’t take it too seriously. You’re just talkin’, after all.
• Talk whenever anyone asks. While it might be easier to stay in the shadows, it’s warmer in the sun.

And that’s pretty much it. No big mental tricks. Don’t make it a bigger deal that it is.

Oh…one more thing. If you are speaking to a school group and you don’t happen to be a known participant in the group (i.e. PTA President when speaking to the PTA, Valedictorian at a graduation, etc.) or a featured speaker brought in especially for the event, just say a few words and get off. Droning on for more than two minutes will gain you only bored enemies. Much of the audience doesn’t know who you are, nor do they care. Plus, the sound system is usually so lousy they can’t understand a word you are saying anyway. As a result, they just want you to shut up. So do yourself the favor and take a lesson from Lincoln. Less is more.