A New Marriage Proposition

I was talking to my brother about how the Black and Latino communities in California scuttled the gay marriage issue with Proposition 8. While we were discussing the you-scratch-my-back-I’ll-stab-yours aspects of this dirty business, he proposed this: remove marriage from being a government consideration for everyone.

I was stunned by the radical nature of this proposal. You see, we both understand and embrace the idea of compromise, so when either of us suggests an either/or solution to an issue, it merits thought. After all, with half of all marriages ending in divorce, with many tears and recriminations and lawyer fees, it’s a costly thing for governments at all levels. Since there’s a religious mandate about who is and is not worthy to form a new legal family, and since we have a supposed separation of church and state, perhaps government should turn its back on the whole marriage thing and leave it to the various faiths to do with as they will with ONLY their own flocks.

From the government’s point of view: you live together, you don’t live together, you have kids, you don’t have kids…not their business. You want to split up? Well, figure out the child-sharing thing on your own, or have your church dictate to you how to use Solomon’s wisdom to achieve an adequate split. Don’t like it? Leave the church, but don’t belly-ache to the government for something that a fair government has no business meddling in.

And next of kin stuff for emergencies or probate? Make your wills, trusts, and powers of attorney. These are all perfectly fine contracts that you can do up without government interference. Do it however you like, but if you don’t…don’t go crying to Uncle Sam when your sole blood relative who hasn’t seen you in ten years goes against what your long-time lover and friends say about how to treat your comatose body.

It’s really a shocking concept. Take the Fed out of family. Leave it to the churches. After all, there’s nothing to stop any group in this country from forming their own church…one that believes in a deity who embraces all with love, instead of segregates with fear and prejudice. Bet you can achieve a 50% divorce rate in that church, too. And the best part? Me, the unmarried taxpayer, doesn’t have to subsidize all of the administrative and judicial personnel necessary to handle your little familial contract disputes when you decide you don’t love each other enough. Take it to your priest/minister/imam/rabbi/priestess/whatever, and leave the government out of it. Just don’t go cutting babies in half to settle custody…the blood stains the carpet and it never really comes out.

The great thing is that it requires little legislative change. A simple bill: “The United States government views it citizens as free individuals, and will pass no law advantaging or disadvantaging the contractual construction of a family beyond adoption of minor children—considering these choices to be private civil affairs beyond the scope of fair government.”

See, in this way the leadership of each and every religion will get to shame, restrict, and stereotype their memberships to their hearts content.

Even if it wasn’t a civil right (which it is, by the way), and just a marriage right, it’s just galling that it’s religious foment that largely decided the issue…even when those being most affected likely were not devout followers of the offended religions.

Do I think this will happen? Of course not. The small-minded will continue to have their small thoughts. They think that it’s right that the majority can pass judgment on a minority group. That NEVER works. That’s why we have high courts, to save the minority from the majority. And the system worked. It worked beautifully…until the majority got sodomized by a creepy-crawler.

What I do think is that the Latino and very likely the Black communities in California, when they have a close vote on an upcoming issue important to them and are looking for allies…well, I think a lot of memories will be long and vengeful. This will be a shallow victory for the pious, I think. It’s going to be interesting to see how passions play out in this particular drama. It’s not likely to be pretty. If you watch Survivor or similar non-scripted shows, you know that what follows a back-stab tends to have lasting repercussions.